I met a guy last month that isn’t my typical
physical type. He has a full head of hair (I usually go for bald or shaved) and
he has a beard (I’ve never been attracted to facial hair), but there was
something about him that from the second I saw him I knew I was in trouble. As
I write this, I realize just how crazy it sounds that in that moment I knew this
stranger was going to a good friend or something more. As I’ve gotten to know
him, I have developed a bit of a crush on him, but I didn’t know if he liked me
as anything more than a platonic friend.
We like the same things, hang out at the same
places and he’s just as OCD as me. We’ve been going out together three to four
nights a week, sometimes as a group and more recently just us together. But, it
was unclear if we were going out on dates or just hanging out as friends. He
was always paying and he would walk me to my car and kiss me on the cheek, but
I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. So one day I asked him and he said he just
wanted to be friends and I responded with “Ok. Good” (which was a lie). The
next day we went out on what I can only describe as the most awkward yet really
fun non-date, date.
I had a feeling that he had just said he only
wanted to be friends for the same reason I had, I didn’t want to jeopardize the
friendship. So I decided I would bring my A game and really test the waters. The
next night we went out with a group of friends and I wore a very sexy dress
with an open back and a pair of to die for five-inch heels. If he were
interested in me I would know that night. One to many drinks later we woke up
no longer just friends.
He is great, a total gentleman, he can even
cook, but now I'm regretting our drunken night together. Our
relationship had changed, whether we wanted it to or not. I'm over analyzing
our conversations and his text messages and I worry if we pursue a
relationship it will jeopardize our long-term friendship. I knew what I was
doing when I wore the dress and I got what I wanted, but did I?
